I’m an early morning runner. This time of year that means the beginning of my runs are sometimes in the dar, but that’s when I have the most energy. Just before I leave, I stand near the back door to my house, at a tiny set of stairs that leads to the larger first-to-second floor staircase. It’s a small spot, and the wood stairs form a perfect place to stretch my leg muscles before I go out the door.
I turn my head to the left and look at our family calendar on the wall. It’s just at eye level and as I stretch, I occupy my brain by looking at it. Immediately I see the plot of my life for the month. If I look closely, I can see myself scurrying around in my busy daily life – all according to what’s written in the calendar. The craziness of each day is written in each box of each month.
Overwhelming.
I’m still stretching, preparing to run for 45 or 60 minutes or more, but here I stand, perfectly still, letting my muscles ease into the stretch. I’m standing more still than I will be all day, just for a few quiet moments.
Other times, when I look at the calendar, I start to hyperventilate slightly. I freak out about how much I have to do each day and curse my foolishness for this project I’m involved in or that committee I’ve agreed to form, AGAIN. But when I stretch my legs and stare at my calendar, I don’t freak out. I don’t feel my heart beat faster with the dread of all I have to do. I just stare, passively, calmly, as if the calendar mapped out someone else’s life.
I know all of that frenzy will be there no matter what, day after day. That will never change. But that worry is all for later. Because now I have something important to do. Something for myself, for my health, for my mind and, ultimately, for my family. I have to run.
For now, that’s all I need to do. I don’t need to plan a meeting or make a meal or fold laundry. I only have to run.
All the rest can wait.
And if having that feeling three or four times a week isn’t motivation enough to run, I really don’t know what is.
2 comments:
I so remember those days of no blank space on the calendar, when my son was younger and there were school events, lessons, tournaments, and banquets to celebrate anything you could imagine! It does get better, but then you'll find yourself filling the spaces with other things. Being still is hard in America... Keep on running -- it's good you've carved that time for yourself.
I take on too much, too. Running helps. It's like an emotional equalizer.
I should tell you, though: I've heard that contrary to popular advice, stretching BEFORE running is not as good as they said. You should warm up first. This was music to my ears being someone who has always been too impatient to stretch.
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